Rejuvenated - Be Blessed

I don't know why, I feel better and I'm ready to go at it again. I took a day away from the world and had to reflect and refocus. I'm going back to the old school me....accountability.. No sleep until I'm finished or pass out. Everyday that passes, is gone, never to return again. Maximize your time, minimize your whine.

Seeking Gas

The whole dissertation process has turned me off, I should be done, I'm over the struggle, the satisfying multiple gods, and making sense out of the senseless. It's been years and I have ZERO motivation to continue. Latest news is that they fired the reviewer that denied my dissertation. I was told to continue the path that I was on previously and make the minute changes for submission. I'm off for a few days, nothing else to do with my life so let's see what progress I can make tonight. I really need to find a way to work on my mood. Holiday season has me down...way down...anyways...ready, set...let's go!

Waiting for these years and hours of time to pay off.

Not a quitter but...

Been hacking at the Dissertation..kind of..not really..kind of discouraging. I really can't stand it. I've lost ambition and drive but I've invested a ridiculous amount of time and energy. I also think that the results and study are very valuable to the Asian American community. I've been on this pony for years and I think I've worn through my chaps..

Double check with the basics..

So far APA looks good to go, no complaints, I really want to get this submission through on the first go, so last step...Grammar, word usage, style, and structure.

It's only 9PM, watching a little TV, hanging on the couch, chilling in the snuggie...someday this will all be over...some day!

Fine tooth - timeout

Been at it for 48 hours on and off, a few personal hurdles had me down and moving very s-l-o-w, but I'm back on the saddle trying to clean out all of the small areas of the study. I'm going line by line trying to catch every APA, gramatical, style & format, and inconsistency in the 160+pg/35,000 word document. Such a challenge..such a reward...such an enormous time requirement.

My blog keeps me accountable to myself, motivated, traceable/trackable, and hey, it's entertaining for me.

APA Woes

As the struggle continues...so do I. It really gets incredibly frustrating with this APA formatting. Do you know how difficult it is to add something to a 180 page document and ensure that all the formatting, spacing, designs, etc are symmetric? Even worst is reviewing other approved pages with the same "errors" and inconsistencies. I'm not much for crying but I'm always up for a good complaint. Complaints don't get papers written though, right? I'm not up for quitting so I'm predicting another intimate night of reading every page and trying to be as meticulous as possible...Ready set...um, wait up..ok..now..wait, not now...alright...GO!!!

Modern Robust Statistical Methods

Read a great article addressing modern statistical methods and problems with classic parametric methods...Very interesting, has me revising my paper yet...again!!!  Ugh, sucks, but it's okay, I'm sure it will strengthen my paper and assist future researchers.

Read this article Modern Robust Statistical Methods (Erceg-Hurn, Mirosevich, 2008).

So, up a little late but still in the PJs with my OJ and Emergen-C. I'm at it!! I'll have a new submission today!

Great Sources for Statistical Framework

Using Multivariate Statistics
http://www.er.uqam.ca/nobel/r16424/PSY7102/Document3.pdf

Modern Robust Statistical Methods
http://www.unt.edu/rss/class/mike/5700/articles/robustAmerPsyc.pdf

Four Assumptions of Multiple Regression that Researchers should test
http://pareonline.net/getvn.asp?v=8&n=2

Same $hit different toilet bowl

First night doing the dissertation in Washington, it's been weeks since I've received a response from my advisor and when I did, they're were changes. Good changes, I can't complain..yes, I can complain...welp, I AM complaining. It's not legit but hey, it's my blog, correct? (self response) yup!!

All easy but time consuming changes, small APA and a few suggestions to improve and support the theoretical framework. One day at a time, right? I often feel like quitting, but sheesh, I ridiculously close to the end. I had a defense date on the 17th, what happened? I still don't fully understand...oh well..I continue..

New Committee member..new changes

So, once again, another change (they are actually good changes) but still very frustrating, new location, my computer isn't set up, no internet (normal) access, and all my fancy tools are gone (keyboard, dual screen, mouse, software). Let me get to it and stop hesitating..

Fake it till I make it.

I haven't made it yet but I do have a date for my dissertation defense, I'm a slight pessimist so I don't think it's real yet, so I'm going through the cycle of happiness, doubt, and concern...I guess this is all life, right? I guess I have to live it! I'm not sure how to feel, C'mon already, I'm tired of guessing in life!

Lord who art up there...

Lord, I know you see me here grinding, I know you see my time, effort, and focus. C'mon now..a lil bitty assistance here. Just messin, I'm on track, everything I'm doing is making sense, even the changes. A few more clean-ups, checks, and a rewrite of my results..heck, I redid stats.duuhhhh!!! Ready, set, go!

I think I can...I think I did...

It's looking good for the home team...well, it's looked good before. So, it's 3:33 AM and I'm about complete with my itty bitty adjustments. I swear nobody works harder than....I...or me, I mean, myself, you know, the guy writing the blog. I think I deserve this, I think I met all requirements, I think I've done it..We will soon see...

Brain working???

Heck of a journey, dedicated the vast majority of my weekend to studying, I think may have just paid off. My submission has surpassed the expectation of my advisor and she is thinking there is nothing more than a few quick touch ups and I'll be able to roll ahead. Expected date of dissertation defense is 2nd week in September...We will see...long time coming, but it's still not here!

Lost

There's not much worse than being lost with no guidance or motivation. That is where I am, the drive and love that I once had for this goal is nearly obsolete. What's worst than seeing the food that you've harvested knowing that you may never be able to taste it?

I'm seriously debating just ending it.

Closing Shop

Rounding the very last lap and right now it's feeling good. Whats a great thing to do right before church? Ummm, lets go with dissertation work...Yawn, time to get at it..

Creaming the Dissertation

Although I lost focus yesterday, I'm about to dig into this dissertation tonight for sure. I've taken my nap, I have the energy drink on ice and all of my "tools" ready. My advisor told me that the dissertation looks good to go and to do a once over the grammar, APA format, and compliance with school protocol. With me luck!

Up again...

Once again, doing what I do, took a long nap, no sleep...again...until completion. And...were...off...

Movie Hopping

I love movies, today going movie hoping (don't tell anyone). Found a neat website which imports the theater times and coordinates your schedule, check it out, great stuff..

Click for link to Theater Tag Website

Trying to close out

Not alot left to do, but still much on my plate, up at 5:30 on a Saturday trying to finish my objective..I know the goal IS at reach but it doesn't feel like it at all...

Maybe, possibly, idk, hopefully

Just received another review from my adviser, not alot of changes, trying to stay focused and motivated to finish this thing out. Remove dissertations as references, and find new references, and rewrite appropriately...Been up since 6AM.

Post Fathers Day Revelation..

Father's day made me realize I'm not working hard enough and my focus is still a little bit off. Tired, eyes red and I'm up at 4. Received email requesting me to change from spearman's rank correlation to pearmans correlation...really? All this time? Sigh... Seems like more and more excuses and issues, Now I have stats and results to update. I need to stay on this if I really want to finish out. 

Refocus Rework

As usual, yet another change, 2 steps forward, 1 step back...how many steps are required? Unfortunate that I have to make up for their confusion with my time, money, and hard work...sigh.. Story of my life. So, now not 10 years but 5 years (references), no dissertations or thesis...soooooo, this means a total rewrite...fun...

Kill me now, wait, don't, just help me out, yes..do that, help...S.O.S.

Red Raining...

Man, when it rains it pours...tear of blood...much deeper than the ocular 02 substance that normally drip, drip, drips..OK, don't know what I'm talking about.

Today has sucked, finance, friends, family, education, and it's literally raining on me...Sheesh!! I swear, I feel I'm such a benefit to others but can't find 1 predictable person or situation in my life. Guess I'll deal and push forward. Dissertation turned in a long time ago, no response, mentor exchanged and disappeared, can't contact new mentor and.....time is ticking. Someone help me out...PLEASE!!!

Doing it to myself

Here I go, 2:45 AM..I've turned my paper in about 3 week ago or so. Instructor said good to go..I go to my stats guy and he points out some pretty obvious errors. Makes me wonder...Hmmm, are you REALLY looking at my paper? What do you get paid for? Aren't I the student? Sheesh Maniiish (I don't know, my mom used to say it). Anyways, I found some changes too. Soooo, even though my paper is already in final review...Mr. Always gotta have stuff proper and appropriate is going to submit a paper that is already in upper level circulation just because I want it to be correct. Once again..wish me luck...stank face...

Lone Ranger

This PhD journey has truly been taxing. Personal and professional challenge. Everyday gets harder, every submission I pray for closure. Paper submitted over a week ago, no response, no info, nothing.

Another submission, it's coming back...but they, it's a point of progress sheesh...

Dissertation blues

I thought all was well, what do I get back...the following recommended changes came from my adviser:

1.      Pearson correlations used to determine the strength and significance of the linear association between the independent variables and the dependent variables.

2.      Multiple linear regression analyses used to determine if there was a significant  relationship between the independent variables and the dependent.

3.      Parameter estimates computed and analyzed for testing of research questions and hypothesis.

4.      The bivariate association between the career efficacy and the independent variables measured by the AMAQ subscales assessed using Pearson correlation coefficient if the data are normally distributed.

5.      Spearman correlation used for the subscales that are semi-continuous (or ordinal).

6.      Statistical significance of the bivariate correlations assessed.

7.      Association explored further in linear regression analysis for significant AMAQ subscales to adjust for participants demographic characteristics such as age, gender, rank, area of concentration and educational attainment etc. 

This Close

So close but no TOmatoooowww Still at it, received my paper back, slight corrections and adjustments, so off to my quiet place to try to get this right...again...Sheesh, wish me luck...no, wish me knowledge and acceptance. 

Up early back at it...again..submission no good

1 mo gain...right before submission found out stats are off..Let me finish this up b4 work..

Giving it a go..

Alright, I'm tired of all the BS, let's give this puppy a roll. I've decided to drop a submission, wish me luck!!

Popsicle reward for conducting research on Friday

You know what time it is....Let's get it!!

Say what ya want, I'm swole...feeling my head up with knowledge and biceps with musklez..

Sleep early, Up early

Trying something new, changing sleep schedule, lets see how this turns out, something has to give!

Trying to survive this thing!

Whenever I get off track, I go back to my vulchers, they are the epitome of survivors, I can't go to sleep, so what's up on the menu? Word...ready, set, go!!!

This routine is really beginning to suck!! Ugh

I'm so tired of this process, so, so ready to be done! I feel like an old man

Took a Break, back on it!

Back to the studying, been gone a while, I really need to finish this thing out!

Stats paper back....

Slight changes, very succinct, but now is better than later. Staying focused on -> Uno <- and those attached to me, they motivate me to do better and be better. I tell you one thing, sleep is a hell of a foe.

Educational Solace

What's more obscure than the obsession with education?
The obsession of isolation?
For some reason its refreshing
You learn life lessons
//Avoid the complexities of others//
//No aggression//
Some say its oppression
How I so tightly control my environment
But that's it...right there, it's mine
How I live....to me?....it's fine!
To me....yep to me....it's somewhat divine

I guess the flash of a car
The life of a star
A drink at the bar
Traveling fro or far
Or a hood rep like Lamar
Me?   I happy who I are

Or who I've become
More so who I will be
See this time alone......This focus of mine
It creates a better me

Now don't be mad
This is not to compare
So don't be scared
//No need to compete//
Because I compete with
None else but ME
See my barometer is I
I don't focus on other guys

But what I do now
Will create a better me
So some seek food
Some break rules
Some like money
Others chase hunnies

I understand the worlds not flawless
But education is my solace

Exit World, Alone, Outerspace, Freedom, Happiness, Confidence, Ultimate understanding, clarity, satisfaction, smile........mild connections....connect

So very Close

2 AM still at it, the thought and focus of completing this task is often frustrating when things don't come together. When it does, it's a euphoric joy. I often wonder...am I doing this because of the money vested, time spent, dedication to my future, possible status and perception, maybe it's just my innate stubbornes. Despite the reasoning, I'm dedicated...and tired....hoping for the finish line.

I'm often asked why I post this online...not for recognition...not even really for anyone else..I use it as a tool of accountability and motivation.

Pulling it all together

The best way to start off a Friday, took my nap, a little tired, but I'm sure the power will kick in.

JMP Focused...

Lost a day of productivity, trying to get it back!!


A great source for information on how you use and execute the functions through JMP are below. The 1st is the student handbook, the second is the User Guide. The handbook provides great info on how to run all the reports. Golden..learn it yourself, don't waste money. It's a powerful tool.

JMP Software links
http://www.jmp.com/academic/pdf/421242_jmpse_guide.pdf
http://www.jmp.com/support/downloads/pdf/jmp8/jmp_user_guide.pdf
http://www.jmp.com/support/downloads/pdf/jmp_stat_graph_guide.pdf

Focuuuss, focus...focusss...ok and GO! //Literature Review//

OK, this should be one of the easiest chapters to get straight..but...it's not...lets see what I can do to block out distractions and get this puppy done...small steps, small steps..

Priorities over partying

Work during the day, party at...nope, I'm focused..up early getting my education on.