Breakthrough

Everybody, watch out, I think that we have a breakthrough!!! After months of replication and alteration, I have approval to do the pilot study from one organization. I feel confident that the NCU IRB will approve me also. So now I'm getting ready for flight. Its always a blessing to feel the light of hope, especially when you're in darkness. So, as I wait for my school approval, I begin this weekend my work on the pilot survey's and focus my sights on the revised IRB application for the final study. Pray me luck!

Duplicity in the city of my mind

The land of duplicity. Seems like I have to repeat the same steps over and over and over again for multiple agencies. Why can't I just move forward? My Chair said today "I applaud you for your persistence". I don't have much of a choice. I just want to be done. Its hard trying to take control of a car that you're not driving. I guess all you can do in life sometimes is push and fight and hope that the enemy quits, falls over, or you knock through to where you're trying to get. My mind is tired, so many changes that I don't even know what's going on sometimes. Another submission today...still at IRB...sigh...Death to duplicity!

Sending prayers up

This weekend I reviewed my blog, I can't believe that I'm still going through this. I don't know what's worst, making a million revisions, horrid/lost advisors, or waiting with no action. I think the financial portion is really bothering me too. Each day is more money, more time..time is money. I feel like I'm running out of both right now. All in all, I'm still blessed. I will stop all that I'm doing now and send a prayer up to the skies.

I pray that God takes the lead and moves me down the path or progression and clarity. All goodness comes from him and me getting this off of my bucketlist for life would indeed be good!

Provisional Progress

 

Is all this hard work and dedication paying off? I'm not sure yet but it does feel like it. One thing that I've learned was to focus on the positive in your life. In life many things go wrong but never does everything go wrong...especially if you really look for it. I've been afraid of the provisional IRB loop....NCU wants the Army to approve, the Army wants NCU to approve....SHEESH!! LAWD Help me. Looks like I may have jumped over the provisional loop so let the light of positivity shine, let it shine bright and shine often!!!

 

1 Step Closer

Finally progress has been made, I've turned in my IRB app and its looking like I'll be coasting past this portion of the IRB, looking forward to the next step!

This train has been so so slow getting started but I can tell that its moving forward. I'm handicap disable stepping but still I'm ONE step closer!!! Amen for progress...

 

A glimmer of sun

 This seems like a complete rollercoaster ride to me. Up and down, up and down. I guess this is just a replication of life. After yet another storm, I see a glimpse of sun...a glimpse of hope...a glimpse of glory. Today I received my letter of sponsorship to continue my study, right on the date that I would be removed from the program. I can't wait until I get to the point where my success is based upon my own hard work and dedication. All in all, I'm ONE step closer. I thank God each step of the way!

 

Uncertain...T

I've been at this so so so long, not sure what to do. In the midst of a long weekend, I feel lost in school, lost in life. 

I'm at a point where I need nothing more than just a memo signed...It may not happen. I may miss my doctorate due to this small requirement. Not sure what to do, I hate depending on others. I can get so much done alone but seem to hit stumbling blocks when faced with meeting the requirements of others. I'll do my best and let God lead me to whatever he desires. Hopefully something will breakthrough...somehow..

Simplicity

You think that in life anything is possible if you put in the hard work and dedication. I've put in a lot of hard work and I've been dedicated but...it's not that black and white, not that simple. There's so much more to it. This is not something you can do alone, I'm used to doing most things alone. In other words "making" it happen. This is something that will take much more than that and I'm kind of lost. I thought by this time, I'd be done with my paper and moving towards completion. In reality, I'm stuck...I'm at a place where I can do nothing more unless someone else is willing to work with me. All I need is someone to agree to endorse my survey and I'd be off to the races. I'm lost, feeling defeated, waiting for a break through. All in all, I'm tired, thinking about quitting once again. The only thing keeping me going is the fact that...I'm not a quitter. My class begins tomorrow and I'll see what comes of all of this! Until then, pray for me! The future is not clear..and definitely not simple!

 

Faith is a mofo

So, its been months since I've had progress on this dissertation. I was ready to quit but just when I was ready to throw in the towel...

I have faith that I can do it but there's so much that doesn't depend on me. You truly need others to succeed in many areas of your life. This is all new to me. It looks like I may get assistance from an organization to facilitate the use of my survey and possibly sponsor me. How great is that? Since you may not know, its very great.."very great"? LOL... Anyways, I'm nervous about signing up for another session at school BUT...hey, I'm back at it...again. Wish me luck, wish me knowledge, wish me favor, wish me blessing, wish me success! Better than wishes, pray for me!

 

Towel tossing

After multiple thousands of dollars, thousands of dollars, 7 years or so, a lot of late nights, I think I may have to throw in the towel on the Doctorate, it was going so well and now it seems as if I can't get approval to distribute the survey. I don't know what else to do...

From this point, I will have to put it in Gods hands and see where this turns out. I'm kind of disappointed but not too discouraged. Mixed feelings...