Deep Dive Past the Worry

So many things going on in my life right now, it's crazy. A few of the decision that I have made in my life has lead me to near destruction. My intent is never bad, but what is paved with good intent? Hell is, yes...hell...sucks, right? Between work, family, school, personal goals, the loneliness of this great rainy State and the holidays around the corner, I often feel as if I won't be able to make it. My father told me to keep my head up despite diversity...keep my head up (literally) and a head down shows weakness and makes you vulnerable. I see him as the example of a man..in other words "the standard". Despite the sadness, worry, and guilt in my life..I must be strong and focus!!! I have people depending on me. Everyday wasted is gone, you can't get it back, it's a loss!! So, I'm diving deep past the worry directly into my dissertation again.

No matter how much you want to change the past, you can't, it's impossible (as far as I know...I think they are still working on solutions). This is the worst time of the year too, birthdays, holidays, a new year, and much more. Although others have contributed to my sadness, I am the source and much accept responsibility. Despite this all, I'm kind of bummed but my literature review will be my best friend tonight and take my mind off my many problems and concerns. I'm debating going back to cutting the cable off and avoiding personal as many social activities as possible. I need to get this thing done!!